What goes good with Lemon Grass Pork... Red Velvet Cake

I missed you too! After a week off, due to a detox fast, I am back at Next Round's On Me. Ready to recreate a new dish for customary group, now what was it that I was supposed to make? That's right, a pork over rice, from Asian Box. I am already losing ambition for this project. There have been a few recipes that have been fun, but now this is two in a row that I am less than enthusiastic to make... by the end of the meal it will be three. Don't read ahead, I'll get there, (plus I ensure you, it is not that interesting).

I like Asian food. Let me rephrase that, I love Asian food. The mix of flavors and textures is something that is not found in other types of cooking. Plus, I love rice. If I was being put to death and was given a last meal I would get rice, with eggs and rice, with a side of fried rice. Get the point, I like rice. There are however two things I don't like in Asian food. First, if the restaurant is trying to be healthy. Please, most Asians I know are half my weight, I don't think it is the Asian food we are eating that is making us fat, it might be the McDonald's on every other corner. Second, all white people in the restaurant. Having all white people in the restaurant doesn't necessarily mean the food isn't good, it just probably isn't authentic. The fried rice is probably great, but I live in the Bay Area, where you could probably just walk another couple blocks and find a restaurant where you could find good fried rice that comes with a good second dish... just sayin'. In fact the only thing I remember about Asian Box being Asian is the name.

Back to my dish, the Lemongrass Pork. The funnest thing about this dish was making the marinade for the pork. I have never used Lemongrass in a dish before and was surprised how easy it was to use, (although no-one who ate the dish knew that it was marinated in Lemongrass... I would use a lot of it next time). I just took the Lemongrass and shredded it like I would a carrot, on a grater. Mixed it with shallots, garlic, sugar, oil and soy sauce and let the pork sit room temperature for six hours. I had sliced the pork thinly and threaded onto skewers to cook over high heat for one to two minutes on each side. Take off the fire and slice thinly and serve over rice, actually a pretty simple meal. We mixed a sauce of Teriyaki and Sriracha to pour over the meat and everyone at the table was happy. (To be fair to my comment above, everyone at the table was white, so I shouldn't count this as a success towards my Asian cooking).

What did I do for an encore, for dessert? Well next week's post I have to replicate Suzie Cake, so I went there and brought home a cake for everyone to try... Red Velvet. I'll answer your questions. Yes, I already made a Red Velvet Cake and no, I don't like dessert. But it looks like I am going to try again. A quick review of Suzie Cake, it was too rich for me. I didn't finish my slice, (and I didn't cut a very big slice). Unlike the last bundt cake there was a lot of frosting on this one, and it was overwhelming. Come to think of it, we don't need "healthy Asian food," we just need to get rid of these dessert chains that are popping up in every downtown area. Oh well, I guess I'll just eat it, like it and buy a larger pair of jeans. Come back next week when I make my own Red Velvet... again. NEXT ROUND'S ON ME

Swordfish Round Duex...

I heard that a famous comedian once said that "You can't tell all funny jokes, or your audience won't know when to laugh." If that same theory is true in cooking then I would say that tonight's meal was a success. Because my Swordfish wasn't good. I didn't think much of it, good or bad, (which means its bad), but my "audience" didn't like it. "It tastes like there is a thick pesto paste on the fish," says Uncle Doug. "I think I am going to give the rest of mine to the dog," says my wife.

See what I'm saying, the fish wasn't good. It didn't turn out like I think it was supposed to. It was supposed to be an almond "crusted" fish. Instead it was fish with an almond paste on top, the crispy crust never developed in the cooking process. I had serious hesitation making Swordfish. Mostly because I don't like it. I am trying to open my mind and expand my horizons, but there are some fish dishes that I just don't like. I don't know if that makes me a culinary novice, uneducated on all of the nuances of seafood cooking, or a sophisticated chef, who understands his palate. But I know this, I don't like Swordfish, and I would be happy to never eat it again.

There was one good thing about this meal, (and it wasn't the price of the protein. Why on earth is Swordfish so expensive... is there anyone out there who actually likes it?) My wife made a Risotto as a side dish and it was fantastic. I would leave tonight's meal with the same frame of mind that I left Vault 164 last week, if the Risotto was the only thing I ate I would have been happy with the dinner. Unfortunately it wasn't, and unfortunately the only blame for the meal can be placed on me. Come back next week when I try to redeem myself... NEXT ROUND'S ON ME

Asian Boxx... (get your mind out of the gutter)

I want to say something about tonight's dinner that is worth reading. Something funny or off the wall that would make you chuckle and think that this next few minutes isn't a complete waste of your time... but I got nothing. NOTHING! Not because tonight's dinner was bad. No, it wasn't bad at all. If there was any problem with Asian Box it would be the name, not the food. (There, I got my one cheap laugh out of this one). But seriously there was nothing good or bad about this dinner.

Asian Box is exactly what I would think a $7 dinner of "healthy Asian food" would taste like. A lot of syrupy sauces, some nice dark meat, and rice. I guess the one question I had when leaving was "what makes this healthy?" The food was fine, I don't want to talk to much about it because I feel it will cheapen my blog. Here's my advice, if you have $10 and 20 minutes for lunch in Palo Alto give it a shot. If you have more money or more time there are 50 places better within a 5 minute drive. Palo Alto is the epicenter of cultural cuisine, and this place was a stereotype. I do think I will have a hard time replicating the dish but who knows... come back, NEXT ROUND'S ON ME.

Every once in a while you find yourself playing cards with a losing hand, as a figure of speech. Like standing in a batters box with a pitcher on the bump throwing 95. At that point you are not trying to drive the ball as much as you would consider any contact with your swing a win.

The last time I remember being in this situation I was playing golf at Bandon Dunes in Oregon. If I remember right we were on the forth hole that plays along the ocean. There was an on-shore wind of 40 mph plus and I found myself a long 3 iron from the green. To make the shot even more intimidating when looking at my target there was ocean to the left, the green, and then some of the thickest, nastiest brush I have ever seen to my right. I would rather roll around in Poison Oak and then let a cat scratch my face before I would want to walk through that crap again. The point of the story is I hit my shot, about 30 yards right of the hole, (a lot to do with the wind), but I found my ball on top of a sand hill to the right of the bush. I didn't care that I was no where near the flag, the simple fact that I found my ball was an accomplishment. That is a lot like this dinner.

When we went to Madera I had the New York Steak with a sweet potato Au Gratin... and it was awesome. I new that I would not be able to capture the taste of their wood burning grill because, well... I don't have a wood burning grill. The only way I could think to get the smokey flavor into the meat was to use my parents wood burning pizza oven for the occasion, and I have never cooked meat in a pizza oven so it was a gamble. To add a little pressure, I was going to cook for my grandparents as well. It was my grandma's 78th birthday, so my mom thought it would be a good idea for me to experiment a new cooking technique on old people. (This had disaster written all over it). So not only was I certain that my dish wouldn't be as good as Madera's, but I was starting to think there was a chance I was going to get people sick, or...

To start I bought the best New York Steaks I could find. I got the pizza oven hot and tenderized the steaks, (mostly by pretending I was doing a deep tissue massage on someone I don't like). Seasoned the steaks with nothing but salt, and right before putting the steaks in the oven I knocked off a couple pieces of burning wood from the pile of coals in the oven hoping that it would create smoke in the oven. Honestly, not comparing the dish to Madera's, it was great. The steak cooked in six minutes and I thought it had a great smokey flavor. The meat was tender, juicy and full of flavor. The only real complaint at the table was that after I had cooked the steaks, and let them sit before they were served, the steaks had started to cool down too much. I wasn't sure how to fix this flaw but next time I try steaks in the pizza oven I will put some plates in as well to get them hot and help keep the steaks warm while they are waiting to be served.

How do I feel trying to make the same dish as a Micheline Star Chef?... better than I expected. I knew I wouldn't be able to do as well as Madera, and I didn't. But to use the golf analogy... I wasn't trying to hit a great shot, I am just glad I found the ball. I have some serious culinary lessons to learn. The most obvious being presentation and sauces, but I feel like I am improving over the weeks. So far none of the food that I have cooked has been inedible, and that speaks for more than the meal I payed for last night. Come back next week... NEXT ROUND'S ON ME

Vault 164

Disappointment is allowed?... right? "Pain makes you stronger." "Pain makes you beautiful." My version, "Bad dining experiences make you appreciate good ones."

To be fair, I never thought that Vault 164 had a chance tonight. We drove almost an hour to get there, (for what should have been a half hour drive), couldn't find parking when we did get there, and then the outside of the building was being painted when we walked in the front door.

Now I have never spent time in downtown San Mateo, and I really had no idea what to expect. I was picturing a slightly larger version of San Carlos, which is very similar to Los Gatos, (without the Santa Cruz Mountains and a much larger street running next to it... The El Camino Real). ((I appreciate the fact that I just used the same word twice next to itself in two different languages... The means El in Spanish, stay with me)). It wasn't. San Mateo reminded me more of San Fransisco. But not the good part of San Francisco, not the part where you are singing on trolley cars after midnight. No, San Mateo reminded me of the San Francisco that exist around 2 PM, when you desperately need to park and find a place to use the restroom. The obnoxious and gross part of San Fransisco. Like I said, Vault 164 never stood a chance.

What made the experience even worse is when we started to eat at Vault 164 the food was average... at best. We started with bacon wrapped dates, and to be honest, it was the culinary highlight of the evening. It was a date stuffed with cheese wrapped in bacon. What made it slightly unimpressive was I had a very similar dish at my friends house a couple weeks ago which was as good... if not better. The main dish was more disappointing. It was suggested that I try an almond crusted Swordfish, served with carrots and a crispy Risotto. The carrots and Risotto were great, in fact after finishing the meal I wished I had just ordered the Risotto. The Swordfish was just okay. I lied, the swordfish wasn't very good. I am an eater, (not a "taster"). Food, like wine, I enjoy when consuming, not putting a little on my tongue and spitting it out. I didn't finish my meal tonight. I can't remember the last time I didn't finish my meal. About half way through the fish I didn't want to eat anymore. Not because it was bad or gross, just because it wasn't good. The whole time I was thinking, "I really don't want to make this dish next week," not a good indication of my enjoyment. I always say, "If I come to a restaurant and the server cannot suggest one good thing on the menu, it is not a place worth going back to."

Anyways, I have to get up early to play a round of golf tomorrow morning, and hopefully it is better than tonight's dinner. Whoops, did it again. I didn't know I disliked tonight's dinner this much.. but I need my sleep, goodnight. Come back next week when I try to replicate a truly forgettable dish... I am soooo excited, (sense the sarcasm). NEXT ROUND'S ON ME.

Madera

Come close, I have to talk quiet. I heard about a great place to get a deal. If you need to get some things for around the house at a reasonable price, go to Walmart. And if you want a huge selection of products to fix up your house, you should try the Home Depot. Last, and don't tell anyone, I don't want to get a call from the senate about insider trading, if you like baseball, there is a team in one of the New York boroughs that always seems to do well, they call themselves the Yankees.

Ridiculous, I know. That is what I feel it is like for me, someone who's had a handful of good meals in his life, to critique a restaurant that was awarded by the Micheline Guide. I can play one of two roles... the badass, "The food at Madera was overpriced and plain. I could have had a better steak Bob's Big Boy." Or the person completely infatuated with a product that is outside of his area of comfort, "The food was so challenging that it took the idea of a culinary experience to a whole new level... I never think I will taste again." (The second is probably closer to the truth).

I will try to be real, the food was great. I am trying to think how to say something better than great without going too far... really great. There are three or four meals I have had in my life that changed the way I view food, this was not one of them, but it belongs in the category right next to them. The food was terrific. I had a thick New York Steak with a Sweet Potato Gratin and bone marrow, yes bone marrow. (As a wannabe foodie I am ashamed to say this is the first time I have ever had the dish. But I had it, I liked it, and am looking forward to the next time I get to try it).

The steak was perfectly cooked, the potatoes were spot on and the marrow was really... neat? Most impressive was the service and the atmosphere. I really enjoyed my time at Madera. The view was great, the energy in the place was enough to keep you feeling good, but not enough to cause discomfort. And the bill at the end of the night was less than I expected. Sitting on one of the most expensive pieces of real estate in the world, (the corner of Sand Hill Road and 280), I was expecting a bigger bill, (and they probably could get one without trying real hard). It did make me feel good to know that there were so many exceptionally successful people that have enjoyed the same food I ate tonight, and for the right reason. What makes Madera good isn't it's price tag or exclusivity, it is the quality of the food that is served. I hope I am lucky enough to eat here again. Until next week when I try to cook my own steak... NEXT ROUND'S ON ME